L’dor v’dor, from generation to generation, is an important concept in Judaism. For that reason, documenting your child’s b’nai mitzvah with photos or videos takes on even more importance than merely reliving the day in the here and now. Future generations will look at these recorded moments as part of your family’s traditional heritage.

As such, choosing the right photographer, making sure your family’s vision comes across in the photos, capturing all of the important moments and emotions, and assuring your child that they will be comfortable in front of the camera on the big day are extremely important.

What to capture

It is important to capture the uniqueness of each child’s big day, says David Tavens of Natural Light Studio, a photographer serving Northeast Ohio.

“Although bar/bat mitzvah events share many things in common, it’s the things that each family does to make their event unique and specific to their child that deserve special attention,” he says. “Not only do generations in families pass on rituals and traditions, many use new events to create new traditions.”

Elizabeth Glorioso of Elizabeth Glorioso Photography, another photographer based in Northeast Ohio, notes that besides capturing the traditional moments, such as photos of the teen at the bimah, holding and reading from the Torah, and receiving the tallit, “capturing the in-between moments are important, too.”

“Laughing with siblings, high-fives with the rabbi, smiles from grandparents – those are the irreplaceable moments that you will want to cherish,” she says.

How to make sure your vision comes through

Glorioso says the most important thing to make sure your family’s vision comes across in the photos and video is to have a photo consultation where everything is discussed ahead of the big day – including wardrobe, the teen’s personality, party themes and details, and relaying to the photographer what is most important to your family.

Tavens agrees, saying meeting with and getting to know a family before their event “is the best way to ensure you exceed their expectations.”

He adds, “My experience has taught me that families put a lot of thought into the details of their events, and being sure to know those details – no matter how subtle – is the best way to understand fully what a family hopes to see in their photos.”

What to keep in mind with teens, children

Teens and older children can be tricky to work with in that they have their own opinions and desires, but also still need direction, Tavens points out.

“There is no denying how challenging it is to be a teenager – being the focus of attention certainly adds to the challenge,” he says. “Making time to meet with the bar/bat mitzvah child before the day of their event is a good time to hear from them and learn from them; their views should not be dismissed. Ask to see the photos of themselves that they feel best about. Make sure they know you’re working for them as well as their parents, and let them know they can come to you at any time on the day of their event with requests and suggestions. If they’ve been a guest at other such events, they’ll likely offer plenty of feedback on what they liked and didn’t … and what they hope to experience.”

For working with teens and kids, Glorioso adds, “It is definitely a balance of setting expectations and going with the flow.”

She suggests letting the celebrant know things like when the portraits will be taken, how long that will take and if posed photos will be taken at the party.

“The flip side is going with the flow,” she says. “For example, (if) family members are running behind and you need to get one more group portrait – (and) your teen has been taking portraits for a while – taking a quick break or circling back later gives them a moment to breathe.”

How to avoid missteps

Glorioso stresses the importance of following your photographer’s guidance regarding the timing of various photos so they can “capture the most important aspects of your day,” without missing something important to you.

Tavens emphasizes that one of the biggest missteps happens when families are not able to enjoy their event fully. To avoid this, discuss your expectations thoroughly with the photographer before the event.

“It’s important that family members enjoy their event and not be pulled away from the festivities for photos,” he says. “Hosts sometimes forget that they should be enjoying the event as much as their families and friends. If a family is comfortable with the decisions they’ve made, they should be able to wake up the day of their child’s bar/bat mitzvah and just immerse themselves in all the goodness it offers.”

Asking the right questions before

Families should ask about a photographer’s experience and familiarity with religious rituals and customs ahead of the b’nai mitzvah, Tavens says.

“Families should also ask how photographers might handle special circumstances unique to their event and family,” he says.

He also discusses the importance of asking to see a photographer’s work because “there is no better way to evaluate a photographer’s skill.” In addition, he says you should ask questions to get to know the photographer on a personal level.

“The photographer you choose will be spending an entire day with your family and your close friends,” Tavens says. “Who you choose to interact with them makes a difference, and can be reflected in the photos.”

Glorioso agrees, saying that asking the right questions is vital to achieving the results you desire.

“Before booking your photographer, ask if they are experienced in photographing bar/bat mitzvahs,” she notes. “A photographer not familiar with mitzvahs might not notice the small details or importance of certain traditions.”

In addition, you should ask the photographer if they are familiar with your synagogue’s rules regarding photography, she says.

Should you always hire a professional?

“I recommend that you always hire a pro,” Glorioso says. “There are no do-overs when capturing family milestones.”

If hiring a professional is not possible, however, Tavens suggests “trying to find someone who understands that there are a lot of moving parts to bar/bat mitzvah events and is comfortable being ready at all times to capture things that will only happen once.”

Both photographers underscore the importance of spending time planning to make sure you get photos you will cherish. Asking the right questions, avoiding serious missteps and finding the right photographer will help to preserve this milestone not only for you and your child, but also for future generations.