We could dive into our archives and find interviews with nearly endless photographers who’ve channeled trauma into their images. Learning how to transmute feelings into something else is truly important not only for self-expression but for humanity. Those memories take shape in a subtle yet cinematic way in Tracy L. Chandler’s series A Poor Sort of Memory. The series, which has been in the PH Museum, is now being made into a book by Deadbeat Press and will launch in September of 2024. Of course, trauma changes over the years for all of us. So how does that affect our image-making process?

All images by Tracy L. Chandler. Used with permission. For more, please check out her website and Instagram.

“The memories definitely evolve over time,” says Tracy L. Chandler to the Phoblographer in an interview. “As I revisit a familiar location from my past, I am imposing the subjectivity of the present. Maybe that is whatever feeling I happen to have that day or some new understanding of myself and the world I was awkwardly trying to navigate as a youth.” Tracy grew up in the California desert with a childhood that we’ve seen described as morbid chaos.

With the help of therapy, Tracy’s perspective has shifted into something she labels as more mature while being present and challenging those feelings. Specifically for her, it’s provided her with the courage to go back to places that elicit fear, loss, and pain within her. Places are often associated with certain emotions, the same way that a song can make you feel a certain way.

“But either way, I am very aware that I am now supplanting the old memory with a new morphed version.”

To that end, Tracy finds the process endlessly fascinating as cameras are supposed to document the truth and keep a record of what has happened. However, she admits to the obvious subjectivity that framing her images provides. “Photographs are subject to the ravages of time just like all objects,” she states. “The process of revisiting my past and trying to photograph it, has taught me to let go. To let go of all of that searching for some objective truth and trying to keep things safe and secure.” In this way, she uses photography as a form of therapy — therefore allowing her to grow in a way similar to nature taking back the world from humanity.

In this way, she’s looking at how things are now instead of embracing the memories deep within her. They start with tracing her past, but then take on a mind and path of their own.

Tracy’s photographs embrace the idea of a very personal essay. They beg the viewer to get closer and explore the oddities they have. In many ways, they take on a surreal life of their own but stand together at their best when they’re a complete series. I don’t think that the word “interesting” does the work justice. Instead, they’re intriguing and as complex as a Where’s Waldo puzzle. With the idea of trauma in mind, you know that this is what you’re looking for. Your eyes then scan the images and find it in some way or another. However, that trauma could be your own internal version of it, depending on your own personal experience. Tracy’s images do this while embracing a very simple look — further adding to their brilliance.